Who am i?

This seems such an empty question and common sense pops in my head

However, who am i? I have found i want to answer this question

I am what i am feeling & knowing what im being in my existence

In my depression i discredit my daily present moment of experience because it feels so bad, but this is who i am, i can accept my whole self

I want to fill my being with the light of life just as i have accepted spirit to be real too, together i feel one with myself & spirit

This question of-who am i? May seem intimidating

I think that i can not define myself into special words for this question, i am and that is a fact

Am i a star too?

My words may be short

This is very personal experience of my life, when i think to myself everyday about how i feel, i feel that it is wrong to feel the way i do, it is something i have not completely understood nor understood

I think to myself, if i have felt this way (for 10 yrs atleast) why dont i just embrace it? I don’t know the answer, but i feels complex & almost mysterious battle with myself

Now a moment ago, i have embraced my pain, suffering, and confusions of myself, why? Because i have seen my journey over the years and i feel safe doing so, i do not know completly why but im doing so because i feel it is part of me

Peace to your journey

Explore

I have a message from my journey in life

It is to explore your emotions 

This what i have learned from my pain and my journey in life

There was a life in my life when living was really difficult, i did not see a point to my life, instead i accepted my deepest feelings: and that was just that, to honor my feelings this is all i was wanted permission to do, but i felt ashamed for them because they were not perfect nor happy feelings

In the past couple of days, i found that i truely was a ashamed of how i felt inside

I did not know how deep it was, this feeling of being ashamed

Until i realized, i was ashamed because it felt guilty for being ashamed at the same time & guilty for my feelings because it meant that i was not gratefull for every moment of my life 

This was complex, but i understood.  I have a love for life, but it is small and precious & vulnerable.  I felt so content with this complex understand-which took since i was a teenager to understand

My message is to explore your emotions because it is worth the effort & the magnitude of patience will not go unnoticed by your own self

Th explore is to gently step in the journey of life without judging your feelings one way or another, this is how i view it

Lastly, suicide, everyone is worth this gentleness, patience, this love to explore what is truely hurting you, please never ever hurt yourself ever, you are worth the true love that can lift your suffering

I hope my words fall into your lap and nuture you to health & to explore the adventure of your journey